Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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