I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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