I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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