JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
