So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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