I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
