i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
