He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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