Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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