come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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