Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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