cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
