I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You ruined the universe
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
