u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My penis needs a shock collar
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize