Pappa wants mamma naked
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
