dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
