what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
