she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
