hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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