I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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