nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
