this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
