I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
