you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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