im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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