the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
