Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
