fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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