Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
