So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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