I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
