who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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