would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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