to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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