two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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