so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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