i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
