I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
