We need to rekindle our bromance
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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