ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
