I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize