Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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