After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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