So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
