do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
