Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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