is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize