sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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