Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize