I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
