You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
