I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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