i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boobs speak an international language.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
