I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
