I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
