i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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