Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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