its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
