you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's get the cat blown out
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize