Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
